Trying to find a way to slow down before landing back ‘home’ in Jamaica didn’t prevent me from experiencing what I call ‘re-entry burn’. It reminds me of the burn I felt as I slid down Dunn’s River Falls on my bum because I was afraid to keep climbing the slippery rocks to the top! I was so bruised when I got to the bottom, and those bruises lasted for days if not weeks.
So here I am. I’ve been back in sweet Jamdown for a little over a month, and have been going through a range of emotions and experiences, trying to readjust to life here. First of all, it’s a different life from the one I had before I left three months before. I’m occupying less space than I did before, not just physically, but in many other ways. For one thing, my Bible Study group is going through a slump, at best.
I have a few options. I can choose to pine over what I had before I left – my own space, all my books on shelves and bookcases instead of in boxes, kitchen laid out just the way I want it, with water distiller, VitaMix blender, food processor and juicer within easy reach, privacy and solitude just the way I like it. I can choose to pine over what I had when I was on the road – other people looking after my well-being, opportunities to minister in just the areas that I feel called and confident, frequent change of scenery which caters to my constant need for variety. OR I COULD choose to forget those things which are behind me and press forward, reaffirming all that God has already said to me, and believing Him with all my heart.
This is really not easy at all, and not fun either. At least when ‘not easy’ meets ‘fun’ it’s a little more palatable! The rubber has met the road, and sparks are flying. But here’s what I know for sure – I know that God is not surprised by any of this. He knows exactly what I’m going through. I know that He STILL has a plan that includes me. I know that if I just get still in His presence, in His time He will take me through to the next season.
It just dawned on me that Jesus knows exactly what I’m going through because He experienced something very similar. Imagine – It was as if He went to sleep in the wide open spaces of heaven, and woke up in a smelly barn, lying in the trough that the animals ate from!
We truly do not have a High Priest who is not touched with the feelings of our infirmities (Hebrews 4:15). So I will praise and worship Him while I wait out this ‘re-entry burn’, so that it doesn’t become a ‘re-entry burnout’!